The Truth About Our “Problems”

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*Warning – this post is full of much needed TRUTH and loads of LOVE*

So I’ve had several conversations recently with people about their issues or problems they’re having or experiencing. And I found that most of the issues or problems that people spoke about – we could easily correct because we have the means, the freedom, and the access to do so. And quite honestly, the most frustrating thing about some of these “problems” is that they’re all in our heads!

We look at the most negative aspects of life and then we put all our energy into that instead of being grateful and thankful for the freedoms, access, and “things” we do have. Then we somehow choose to focus on those petty little issues and blow them up into huge mountains of problems. We take for granted the fact that we have the freedom, the access, and “stuff”. Yet we find the energy and the gall to complain that we lack access, we lack this, and we lack that. So here are some questions to level set your current perspective on your “problems”:

  • Are you able to walk down the street or around town without fear of being attacked because you’re a woman? Be grateful that you can walk freely and without fear as a woman.
  • Do you go to bed hungry at night because you didn’t have food or you gave all of the food you did have to your children so that they wouldn’t go to bed hungry?Be grateful you can buy groceries or go to the store when and if you want and find the things to satisfy your hunger or even you’re most random cravings.
  • Can you afford to put gas in your car to get to work every day or can you afford the bus pass to get to work every day?Be thankful you can afford to get to work each day even if the job is one you dislike or is entry level or just a stop along the way to whatever that next thing is.
  • Do you live in a home or in an apartment and not in your car or on the street?Be grateful for the home you have however large or small and the bed you sleep in each night that you call your own.
  • Can you pay your bills every month? If so, be thankful for the job you have that provides the money to pay your bills and buy your food.
  • Are there bombs dropping in your neighborhood or mortar shells flying through the building?Be grateful you live in a war free zone without bullets whizzing by your head and it’s safe to walk about outside.
  • Do you have people in your life that care about you and want to see you happy and healthy and safe? If so, be grateful for those people who are supporting you, loving you, and helping you.
  • Are you able to get up and walk and exercise?Do you have an ailment or dis-ease that is causing you to not be able to exercise and maybe put on extra weight?  If not, be grateful you’re healthy and able to walk, run or jump. If you have the ability to walk, you have the ability to move.
  • Are you losing your hair because of chemotherapy or other drugs for your treatment? If not, be thankful for the hair on your head regardless of the shade, the style, or the texture.
  • Are you safe from the elements each day? Be grateful for the clothes you have to keep you warm and adorn your body and the shoes on your feet even if they are last year’s style or some other no name brand.

How do we turn our negative machinations into a positive outcome? How do we refocus on the positive and let go of the negativity that we’ve been conditioned to hang onto? I’ve prepared 4 tips to refocus your attention and energy to positive outcomes. Try one or all of these over the next week and see what changes happen:

  1. Spend 5 minutes a day stating (out load, in your mind, on paper, any medium you choose) what you’re grateful for and thankful for in your life. Set a timer – what are you grateful for? Your home, your car, your shoes, your hair, your job, your town/city, the food in your kitchen, the coffee shop down the street, the weather, the fact you woke up this morning, your friends, your health, your family, your pet, your favorite pen, the person at the store who always asks about your day, your favorite blanket, your shower, your cup of coffee/tea, your yoga instructor, the color of the sky. You get the picture.
  2. When you encounter a “problem” ask the following question: What is one thing I can do differently to make this better? (By the way – if there’s something you can do – do it – especially if it’s super easy – which most responses to most problems are.)
  3. Stop complaining! This is a huge challenge because we’ve become very, very conditioned to complain first and then look at the situation later. Even if you just simply notice the complaints, that’s a tiny, one inch step in the very right direction.
  4. This is a BIG one: Look internally instead of externally for someone to blame. Wow – yes I did! We look outside for reasons why things are the way they are instead of internally for answers. (It’s my parent’s fault that I’m so stressed out. It’s my ex’s fault I’m so messed up and can’t find another partner. That driver is an a$$h*le and made me angry so I get to be sh*TT* to everyone else. I would’ve gotten that promotion if it hadn’t been for so and so. My job is thankless and no one can do it but me because everyone else is stupid. I gained weight because of my job, my ex, my ___.)

Hey folks – the common denominator in all the issues you’re having is YOU. If you sort yourself out, things start happening. We have to take responsibility for our lives and absolutely EVERYTHING in it. Our choices got us here. Figure out why you make the choices you do – I mean go deep – keep asking why until there are no other why’s left. This is a tough thing to do because we are VERY fearful of what we might find if we keep digging: pain, ugliness, shame. I’ve done this process myself. I didn’t like some of the things I found: selfishness, immaturity, and lots of pain. It’s worth all the digging – trust that.

When you combine even just the gratitude and looking internally, things start shifting and positivity starts sprouting. I challenge you to go a week where you think of and ponder on, at least for five minutes a day, the things that you’re grateful for in your life. What you focus on and spend your energy on will be magnified and multiplied in your life. So choose to focus on gratitude, thankfulness, and abundance and see how much more you bring into your life. I double dog dare ya!!

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